Set Backs

Well, a couple of days earlier than normal I got back a positive LH serge test, which means that we went in for round 3 of IUI's today. The plan was to do 6 tries and then evaluate options like IVF. Well, randomly my doctor was the one who did the IUI today. It's usually just a nurse. As he's doing the procedure he informs me that I have 3 endometriosis spots on my cervix. Bad enough that he said if this round doesn't work, then we have to re-evaluate the game plan. After the IUI I have to lay there for 20 minutes, so while I was laying there we went over options. I'm one of the rare cases with both PCOS and endometriosis. We have to treat the endometriosis first. This means either months of medications or another laparoscopy (surgery). Then after we treat it, we can go back on the meds I'm on now and try a few more IUI's, or just go right to IVF. This was definitely a set back. I was hoping things would work out faster. This puts us back a few more months, and even more money. Lately I've been wondering if I can take these meds that I'm on for 3 more months. They are brutal. I'm trying to look at this in a positive light and think of it as a blessing that we caught this, but I'm actually really upset about it. Trying not to be, but I am. After 4 years I've learned to turn off my emotions and not get my hopes up too much. Things had just been going so much better with this doctor and these treatments that I allowed myself too much hope. My doctor reminded me that we are young and that we shouldn't be worried, but as each year passes, my hopes for ever becoming a mother become lower and lower. Maybe we will just be that couple that never has kids. I'm going to have to come to terms with that eventually, why not start now. I know, I'm being dramatic, but it's how my life feels right now.
For now, we pray this round works. If it doesn't, I'll most likely go in for another surgery and then I'm considering taking a break, like a real break. I'm going to go back on the pill and stop thinking about this stupid mess I'm in for a few months, maybe even a year. I've been thinking about taking a break anyway. Maybe this is just my sign that I really need one. Then we can go back and maybe just jump right into IVF.
Sorry for the negative post, I just thought I would share the new information for the few of you who actually read my blog. I'll keep you updated on what we decide.